Between the Pain Read online

  “Between the Pain,” by Gia Riley

  Copyright 2014 © Gia Riley

  ISBN-10: 1499602715

  ISBN-13: 978-1499602715

  This book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the author is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

  Cover Design: Paper and Sage Design

  Interior Design: Kassi Cooper with Kassi’s Kandids Formatting

  Contents

  Dedication

  Playlist

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  33

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  To my son…my inspiration to never stop dreaming. To my husband….my source of strength. My world wouldn’t be complete without you both.

  Hey Pretty Girl….Kip Moore

  Stuck Like Glue…..Sugarland

  Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not…..Thompson Square

  Brighter than the Sun…..Colbie Caillat

  I Was Broken…..Marcus Foster

  You’re Beautiful…..Chester See

  Dare to Believe…..Boyce Avenue

  All of Me…..John Legend

  Faster…..Matt Nathanson

  Come Wake Me Up…..Rascal Flatts

  I Will Never Forget You…..Danielle Bradbery

  See You Again…..Carrie Underwood

  Brave…..Sara Bareilles

  Human…..Christina Perri

  I HAVE A BAD HABIT of always wanting what I can’t have. I’m not talking about material possessions, I could care less about the label on my jeans or if I carry the latest must-have bag. I always want the guy who doesn’t want me as much as I want him, has a girlfriend, or doesn’t know I even exist. If watching guys from afar was an Olympic sport, I would have the gold medal. It’s shocking how much you can learn about a person just by watching them.

  I never had many boyfriends growing up, I wasn’t a loner but I seemed to be stuck in the friend zone with guys instead of being prime girlfriend material. The one relationship I did have was over before it ever really started. Chalk that mishap up to disillusioned ignorance, meaning he was a douchebag who only cared about himself.

  As if all of that wasn’t dramatic enough, I seemed to have the pleasure of being considered one of the guys. What does this mean exactly? This means I’m close enough to have a friendship but just far enough away that I get to watch them in action instead of being the action. Why they think I want to give them relationship advice all the time is beyond me, and I won’t even get into the abundance of sexual conquest knowledge I’ll never be able to erase from my memory. Men are pigs ninety percent of the time. Their world is one giant locker room where they freely scratch their junk and brag about whose pants they plan on getting into next. All joking aside, I promise I’m not bitter and will continue to believe I’m worth being someone’s forever. I’ll be patient until my guy comes along, but if one more person tells me love strikes when you least expect it, I just might strike them instead! Patience Hallie.. yeah, I suck at that.

  THE ALARM GOES OFF AND I feel like my head just hit the pillow. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. What a depressing thought that is. I’m not always so negative but if this is the rest of my life, I’m in trouble. I have big plans for myself that don’t include being a single, 22 year-old nurse who considers going out to dinner dining on a meal in the hospital cafeteria. I want to be kissed in the rain, get lost on the Subway in a big city, or meet a sexy stranger and make passionate love like we are the last two people on Earth. Maybe I watch too many soap operas, and my mind is filled to capacity with cheesy love quests that aren’t ever going to be my reality. For now, I will stick with going to work and save the rest of my dramatics for later.

  As I hop into my car, I stare at the tassel from my graduation cap dangling from the rear view mirror. I’m immediately flooded with college memories as I drive towards the Emergency Department of Regional Hospital for my first shift. Working my ass off to become a nurse was one of the things I dreamed about since I was a young girl. I saw myself with a husband, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence all by the time I turned 24. I wanted the All-American family I was accustomed to. So far, I have me, myself and I with only two short years left to make my dream become a reality. I haven’t given up hope and have faith the pieces will fall into place when the time is right, but I also know nothing goes as expected in this lifetime. As Julie Chen says on Big Brother, “Expect the Unexpected”.

  Driving down the highway, I begin to feel antsy and anxious about what lies ahead. It should probably be noted how much I loathe change, so adjusting to a new workplace, coworkers and environment is sensory overload times a billion for me. I don’t want to get caught up in department politics and I absolutely don’t want to be told what to do all day. Having said this, I’m an excellent employee. I work hard and do my best because I’m also a perfectionist. As much as I hate change, I love the fast-paced atmosphere of an emergency room. It was by far my favorite rotation in nursing school. The job is never boring and you get to see every kind of patient imaginable. I even decided to live in Oak Ridge permanently after I graduated from college. I miss being able to see my parents whenever I want, but the connections I made during my nursing school rotations were just too hard to throw away. The hospital is excellent and was definitely my first choice when I was searching for open positions.

  My stomach is filled with butterflies on the walk from the parking garage to the hospital. My hands are chilly and slightly clammy from my nerves taking hold. I know I’m an excellent nurse but that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous. The eye candy walking in front of me is a welcomed distraction. I wonder what he does? Clearly he doesn’t work in the ER with me. We get to wear thin, baby blue scrubs issued by the hospital. No cute design for us, strictly standard is the only thing allowed. I’m told this helps staff and patients easily spot each other in an actual emergency. Sounds crazy, considering this is the Emergency Department. The drawstrings are even color coded by size. That sure makes a girl feel good seeing a guy with the same damn color. Salad for dinner, check.

  Upon opening the doors to the employee entrance, my senses are assaulted by the antiseptic-mixed-with-bleach scent that appears to be washed over every surface within the walls of this healing place. This particular smell used to bother me but now I embrace it. I continue to walk down the hall toward my supervisor’s office. It’s so eerily quiet I feel like I’m in a library. The only sounds are coming from my clogs squeaking against the freshly polished floor. The kid inside of me wants to break out into song to liven the place up. Obviously, I don’t want to be escorted out of the building before I even clock in, so I remain silent
. I momentarily get distracted by the Twix bar calling my name from the vending machine but manage to continue my trek down the hall. I don’t think I’d be doing myself any favors being late because I needed a chocolate fix. Before I know it, I’m knocking on the supervisor’s office door. My ticker is now doing double-time, and I can feel my pulse whooshing in my ears with each second that passes.

  ”Come in,” I hear her say. I take a deep breath, open the door and hold out my hand to my new boss. As she shakes my hand, I smile and assure her I am up for this new challenge.

  “Hi I’m Jennifer, nice to meet you. Please sit,” she says with a hint of a smile and cheerfulness that is welcomed more than she will ever know. Hopefully she remembers being in my shoes at one point and can sympathize with my inability to engage in small talk at the moment.

  We go over a few papers that need my signature, mostly for payroll purposes. A half hour later, we are on our feet and heading towards my station in the ER. Thankfully, my nursing school rotation just ended three weeks ago and I already met a few of the other nurses and physicians. Being familiar with the computer system also saves me from enduring a dreadful training session with IT. Score!

  We make small talk in the hallway and I swear she knows every person we’ve passed. Suddenly, I see the eye candy from the parking garage. My cheeks begin to redden from his close proximity. He has no idea I was checking his ass out on my walk in, so I have no idea what I’m so worried about. I try not to let my expression show the dirty thoughts that are running through my mind at the current moment. Apparently I turn into a fourteen year-old girl with her first crush around sexy men in scrubs. Managing to direct myself back to the present situation, I pay attention to the conversation and avoid fumbling over my responses placing them precisely where they belong in the conversation. Jennifer probably thinks I am either terrified or a space cadet.

  “Hey Jen, how are ya?” candy man says.

  “Ryan! We miss you down here buddy. How are things in the Cardiac Unit?”

  “Eh, not as much excitement but at least I can come visit.”

  “Ryan, this is Hallie. RN, first day.”

  I finally get a closer inspection of this mysterious stranger. I love what I see. Ryan has to be close to six feet tall with broad shoulders and a defined waist I could wrap my legs around. I bet he has that v thing happening and seriously chiseled abs. I can tell he works out and definitely has an athletic build, but it’s his smile that lights up his whole face and those eyes….golden brown with a hint of green. I never knew hazel could be so alluring. They’re the perfect complement to his sandy brown hair that I would love to run my fingers through and tug on while we make out in the supply room. Not that I would do that or anything, just hypothetically speaking. His tan skin is seriously sexy making it look like he just came back from an exotic vacation. What are the odds of seeing this guy twice in the first hour I’ve been here? I will chalk it up to beginners luck. Surely that applies to meeting strangers and not just board games. I snap back to reality, realizing I am openly gawking, and finally manage to speak.

  “Nice to meet you, Ryan.” That’s it? That’s all I’ve got?

  “Yeah, you too. Hope to see you around,” he says with a smirk and a knowing glance that tells me I was caught staring and he found it amusing. Smooth Hallie. No wonder I suck at relationships. I probably just got friend zoned. As he turns and walks towards the elevators, I take one more peek at his toned ass for good measure since I already made a fool out of myself.

  THE REST OF THE WORK week flies by and before I know it I’m back at home resting with a glass of wine and the latest episode of The Voice playing on my DVR. This is a clear reminder of my other life dream, to sing on stage for the entire world to hear, or anyone willing to purchase a ticket and sit through my show. I’d have zero fear and no hesitation- just me and the melody chasing away every worry that ever entered my overworked brain. A girl can dream right? Just before the show ends, I hear my cell ring. Running around trying to find it is comical. I yank it out of the cushion and quickly answer. How it always sneaks in there is beyond me.

  “Hello,” I say slightly out of breath from my mad dash.

  “Hey! I never got to hear about your first day. How did the rest of the week go?”

  “Hey, Alex.” Alex is my best friend and acts as my pseudo-brother when I need him. He’s fiercely protective of me and because his family also lives a couple of hours away, we rely on each other for just about everything. I’m lucky to have him in my life. We met in college at a party at the Ice Hockey house, four years ago. He rescued me from an ugly breakup moment in the middle of a crowded hallway. To say this was one of my finer moments would be the exaggeration of the century. Needless to say, he calmed me down, told me not to waste my tears on an asshat, bought me some pizza on our walk back to my dorm and got my number. Alex is also extremely gay so no boundaries were crossed during this whole sordid affair. He was a complete gentleman and my knight in shining armor. He would have a field day with that comparison. The man can dress to the nines and would have the most spectacular costume.

  “My week has been interesting to say the least. Amie, the girl I told you about from my clinical rotations has been on the same schedule as me this week. You will have to meet her. She’s awesome. I’m loving my job, but I’m exhausted. I almost got thrown up on a few times too, but I feel really good about it so far and the eye candy was an added bonus.” I smile thinking about all the crazy moments as I sit down on my bed and page through my favorite gossip magazine.

  “Back it up! Who is this eye candy you speak of? Hot doctor? Patient? I never considered the hotties coming in for treatment. Please tell me he didn’t barf on you.”

  “No, nothing like that. All I know is his name is Ryan. I saw him twice my first day and he used to work in the ER but moved to one of the floors upstairs. And he has a killer smile.”

  “How’s his ass? You should invite him out with us sometime. I want to meet the guy who finally got your attention.”

  “Alex, just because I haven’t dated in a while doesn’t mean my lady parts are broken. And how did you know I checked out his ass?”

  “Because you always do. And, broken no, seriously in danger of forgetting how to work, yes.”

  “I don’t even know if I’ll see him again, so I don’t think I’ll be asking him to join us. He probably didn’t even notice me anyway. I only said three words to him in the hallway.” Three incredibly boring, lame words that is.

  “Well, if you run into him again, just be open to the idea of getting to know him.”

  “You are blowing this way out of proportion but I will definitely enjoy the view if I do spot him.”

  “Alright baby girl, talk to you tomorrow. Get some rest so you can kick ass again tomorrow.”

  I fell asleep thinking about hazel eyes.

  AS IF I WASN’T ALREADY overwhelmed enough, I’ve received an email from my boss letting me know I was selected to attend an Emergency Care Seminar on Friday at the convention center. Apparently the department is taking their lead social worker, Sean, as well as a nurse. I was selected since the nurse scheduled to attend would now be representing another department. I guess I should be flattered they want me to go, but I can’t help but feel like I was a last resort. Either way, I’ll make the best of it and take away some information I can probably put to good use on the job. Lord knows I need all the help I can get managing all of the unique cases that come through our doors.

  I also have an email from Sean asking me if I want to carpool with him. Do I really want to be stuck in a car with a strange guy for an hour? It would save me the hassle of getting lost and take some of the pressure away. What the hell, the drive’s not that long. How bad can it be? Thanking him for the offer, I gladly accept and tell him to let me know when and where to meet him. After a few back and forth messages, I decide Sean is probably an older man with a pot belly who wears a corduroy jacket and a pocket protector. Very pleasant, but slightly
skeevy.

  I dial Alex’s cell to ask him what a nice thank you gift might be. Of course he picks up on the first ring and has me fumbling with my pen and paper as he shouts into the phone. “Talk to me!”

  “Holy shit, must you yell into the phone, and what happened to using a simple hello like the rest of the living?”

  “You love my greeting and you love me. Now shut it. What’s up?”

  “I have to go to a conference all day Friday; I’m hitching a ride with an oompa loompa and need to take him something to say thanks for the ride. What do I give him?” I briefly glance around to make sure nobody heard me say that and continue on with my conversation.

  “Well he sounds like a treat. How about a giftcard for coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I would suggest Starbucks but I think he should stay with his people and not venture into the land of the trendy. We don’t want to overwhelm the poor man.”

  “This is true. I can work with that. I’ll pick one up on my way home. Thanks.”

  “No problem. I suggest you keep your eyes open at this seminar for a potential mate. Perhaps a sexy surgeon would be a nice match.”

  “There will be no mating but thank you for the suggestion. Gotta run. Duty calls.” I’m still on my break but I wasn’t about to get lectured about my inability to mate. A girl’s gotta draw the line somewhere.

  “Call me later.”

  Thankfully Alex didn’t pick up on my need to flee so I hang up without guilt and continue on with my evening.

  I PICK OUT MY BLACK blazer and matching pencil skirt for the seminar. I feel like one of the Golden Girls saying I own a blazer, but I promise it’s not matronly or polyester. I pair it with a crisp white button down and my black platform heels. I read somewhere a platform heel is more comfortable to walk in than a regular one. Whoever wrote that clearly has never heard of a sneaker. Sneakers scream comfort. Heels were probably invented by a man looking for revenge on the female population. Sure, they make me feel sexy, but I couldn’t wear them every day. I like to feel my toes and know they’re still attached.