Between the Pain Page 2

  I’m early for everything, it’s another one of my endearing qualities, so I sit in the hospital cafeteria and wait for Sean to come pick me up. I purchase two coffees one black and the other with cream and sugar. I can tolerate it either way so I’ll let him choose his favorite. I’m messing around on my phone checking out my Facebook feed when I feel a presence. Sitting across from me is a very handsome guy in a suit. He has sexy hair with a few messy pieces falling in just the right places to make his look appear effortless. His eyes are a crystal clear blue and are looking at me like I should know who he is, but I have no idea. I decide to stay quiet hoping this man is either lost or will throw me a clue as to who he is.

  “Hallie, right?”

  “Yup, I’m Hallie. Have we met before? ”

  “No, we haven’t, but I’m Sean. Your ride for today and very charming seminar companion.”

  “No way. You’re not skeevy at all,” is the first thing that pops out of my mouth. Mortified by my rude outburst, I quickly try to cover my tracks and take it back. Knowing I’m too late by the curious smile on Sean’s face, I decide to come clean. “Sorry, that was rude. I may have pegged you for a much older toupee-wearing man with patches on his elbows and a pot belly. I apologize for my poor filter.”

  Laughing his ass off, Sean shakes his head at me and I feel like I still have more explaining to do. Before I can get my next words out, he interrupts me. “Hallie, I would love to know how you came to that conclusion from my emails but let’s get going. Maybe I need to work on my writing skills. You can tell me all about it on the ride to the convention center. Sound good?”

  “Sure, let’s head out.” He takes my hand and helps me up out of my chair like a gentleman. I highly doubt oompa loompa Sean would have been so generous.

  “I have a feeling this is going to be the best business trip I have been on in a very long time,” Sean says, as we exit the corridor and head toward the parking garage. Considering I’ve never been on one, I will take his word for it.

  The ride consists of constant laughter as I explain how I came to my conclusions about Sean. He’s a very good sport and equally easy to talk to. It turns out the real Sean is actually twenty-seven years old, a social worker and hilarious. My instincts tell me he is also very single from the innocent flirting he’s been doing with me the entire drive. I definitely don’t mind, considering the sight of him in that suit is nothing short of perfection.

  We arrive a few minutes early to the seminar and have just enough to time to make a pit stop and find our chairs. I drank entirely too much coffee and am slightly amped up now. Sean assures me I have nothing to worry about today and to sit back and relax. I let him know I’m trying and continue to subtly bounce my leg as I sit in my chair. At least I think it’s subtle.

  The morning session really was fairly painless and even interesting. We listened to a few speakers and played a couple roll playing exercises intended to improve our bedside manner. I felt slightly silly acting out cases, especially with Sean, but he made it enjoyable. I was glad to have a partner who wasn’t a complete stranger like a few of the others sitting near us. They appeared to be suffering through the same exercises.

  By the time our lunch break comes around, I am beyond starving. My stomach had been too tense to have anything other than the coffee I picked up in the cafeteria before we left. Sean takes his black so I was at least able to get a little sugar high from mine. He and I are joking about the mystery meat in the pan in front of us when I look up and see Ryan standing on the opposite side of the buffet table serving himself some stir fry. Not sure if I should say anything or not, I decide to pretend I don’t see him and continue down the line. I had no idea he would even be at this seminar. Who would have thought I’d end up at this thing with two hotties!

  Sean and I eat as I quickly scan the other tables seeing if I can spot Ryan anywhere close by. I assume he doesn’t know I’m here either. Sean breaks me from my trance and we continue our meal with comfortable conversation. I finish up and excuse myself to the bathroom to freshen up before the start of the afternoon session. I’m grabbing a quick drink of water at the water fountain when I feel someone standing very close behind me. Spinning around, I stumble clumsily in my heels and bump into the fountain. I immediately feel wetness on the back of my skirt. It’s a damn good thing I’m wearing black so I won’t look like I peed my pants.

  “Hallie the RN.”

  “Hi Ryan. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

  “Here I am. I was scheduled to come when I was working down in the ER, so my manager decided to send me for his department instead of submitting new paperwork. It all worked out. I noticed you were sitting with Sean.”

  “Oh. Well that all sounds nice. Glad you could still come. Sean and I, we drove here together. He offered so I accepted.” I realize I made this sound like some sort of date and suddenly the thought of him thinking I’m taken doesn’t sit well with me.

  “Of course he did,” Ryan says with irritation and a roll of his eyes.

  “What does that mean? He was just being nice with me being new here and all. I was glad to meet up with him so I didn’t have to come alone.”

  “Hallie, your innocence is endearing, but Sean picks who comes to this event with him every year. He had chosen me to go with him until I changed departments. It was up to him to come up with a replacement. He obviously decided to replace me with the department’s new pretty girl. I can’t say I blame him for that though.”

  Why would Sean choose me out of all the other staff? He’s never met me or spoken to me. Hell, I didn’t even know what he looked like! If he was so far off my radar, how was I directly in his bullseye? “Well thank you for the honesty but this seems a little strange. I had no idea about any of this.”

  “Don’t be too hard on him. You can’t blame a guy for trying and it looks like he was heading in the right direction. You both looked pretty cozy and you didn’t seem to mind his hand on your leg during the role- playing exercise.”

  “You can’t be serious right now! He was not hitting on me, and I know I was strictly professional with him the entire time. You have my word on that.” How does he even know Sean’s hand was on my leg at all? Unless he was watching me the entire time. Oddly enough, the thought of him watching me doesn’t bother me at all.

  “Calm down, Hallie. We have to get back in there. You didn’t do anything wrong. I may have to up my game though if I have competition.” He leaves me standing next to the water fountain with my mouth hanging open while he calmly walks back to his chair. I take one more drink to calm myself down, put a smile on my face and head back to my seat. Sean stands up when I get back to the table and his blue eyes no longer have the same innocent effect on me as they did before. Now that I know Sean is capable of having an ulterior motive, I’m on high alert. Refusing to be played for a fool, I cross my legs, flash Sean a knowing smile and glance over to Ryan. He has the nerve to wink at me! Game on boys, game on!

  WAKING UP EARLIER THAN NECESSARY the following morning, I decide to try to get back to sleep and rest up for tonight. Saturday nights are spent with my small group of friends out on the town. We have a few hot spots we try to rotate through, but almost always end up at Shorty’s. Shorty’s is a country bar, honky-tonk, pool hall experience all tossed into one. It has a little bit of everything for everyone and there’s always live music. The night starts off with a DJ, and once the crowd builds they switch over to live entertainment on the small stage. I haven’t told anyone this yet, but I really want to get up on that stage and perform. Every time I look at it, I’m mesmerized by the image of playing my guitar, singing a cover with everyone swaying back and forth to my voice. I want to be someone’s moment on the dance floor.

  Once I climb out of my comfortable paradise otherwise known as a bed, I shower and sort through my closet looking for something sweet but sexy to wear on my night out. I decide on a white eyelet dress with my jean jacket and distressed, brown cowgirl boots. I top off
my look with light makeup to accentuate my deep brown eyes and pop some curls into my shoulder length hair.

  “Hey Hallie, you look gorgeous tonight. Trying to impress someone special?”

  “I didn’t even hear you come in, Alex. Jeez. Not impressing anyone, you’ve seen me in this before.” He doesn’t have to know I put forth extra effort tonight in case I would happen to run into a handsome stranger. The games Sean and Ryan were playing at the seminar have me believing I really wouldn’t mind having a hot guy at my side. Maybe someone will realize my lady parts are in fact not broken and ready for some action.

  “Well either way, let’s roll. I have beer to drink. It’s been a long ass week at work.” Alex is an adoption counselor. He works for social services and was adopted himself. He’s never thought of doing anything else. All he wants is to offer a child the family they deserve. I think he’s pretty amazing, but he would argue and say he’s nothing special. I love that about him.

  Shorty’s is busy as we stroll in and look around for the rest of our crew. I forgot to look who was performing tonight, but I’m not too worried. Rarely have I complained about a performance at our hot spot. I laugh to myself as I order a Miller Lite. Now that I’ve graduated, I can officially move on to a more sophisticated beer. Considering Natty Ice was our go to for its cheap price tag and ability to knock you on your ass fairly quickly, this is a step up. Since I prefer to appear laid back and causal, I avoid ordering any cocktail with a straw or fruit perched on the rim. To me, that screams high maintenance not to mention I’m still waiting for my first paycheck. I take a sip and move away from the bar as I am deep in thought about my former statement. Maybe being a beer drinker isn’t helping my case of appearing totally fuckable and not ordinary. Note to self, try some fruity shit tonight.

  “Hallie the RN”.

  Who the hell was that? Looking around, I spot hazel deliciousness. Walking over to me, Ryan has an adorable smirk on his face I know I won’t be able to resist. This guy is going to be my weakness and I don’t even know anything about him other than he wears larger scrubs than I do. This is a definite point in his favor. “Ryan, I didn’t expect to see you here.” I say for the second time in two days as I try to hide my cheeks behind my bottle of beer. I know my face is flushed from his presence.

  “And why’s that?” he asks without hesitation.

  “I come here all the time and have never seen you. So either you’re following me again or this is your first time here.” I can’t tell if he understands my subtle attempt at humor or not.

  “For the record, I’m not following you, although I would definitely enjoy that. I’ve been here before; I guess you never noticed because I definitely wouldn’t have let you forget me.”

  Hot damn. “Is that so? Someone thinks highly of himself,” I say comfortably. I don’t want him to know what he is currently doing to me. My grandmother always told me a lady must never reveal all her cards. I take it that meant keep your clothes on and make him sweat. Or hopefully something close to that.

  “Are you going to pretend you don’t feel something when you see me? I see the way your cheeks flush and your eyes widen just a little when you look at me. You did the same thing in the parking garage and in the hallway at the hospital. Yesterday, you almost sat in the water fountain when you heard my voice. I like knowing I affect you. It makes me certain you won’t tell me no if I ask you to dance right now.” I didn’t realize I was that obvious.

  I want to reply with a witty rebuttal about how wrong he is, but he is so right. There’s no way to tell my racing heart otherwise. I do feel something for him, lust of the highest degree. Sorry Grandma, I tried. “We should dance then,” I reply.

  Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum is pouring from the speakers as we sway back and forth. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, obviously he’s just as affected by our dance as I am. Ryan’s arms feel amazing around my body. Leaning into him feels natural and like I could do this all night. Clearly I must be losing my mind considering I just met this guy and spoke all of three sentences to him, but the butterflies racing around in my stomach tell me this is exactly where I want to be.

  I would love to know what is going on in his mind right now. The internal dialogue running through my head is anything but PG but I chalk it up to the lyrics of the song playing tricks on me. Clearly the universe must be trying to tell me something. The romance novels on my Kindle have been my only source of passion for far too long. In true Ryan form, his next words catch me slightly off guard.

  “Relax, you most definitely will be getting a kiss tonight,” he says with complete confidence.

  “Is that so?”

  “Absolutely. Whatever you’re thinking right now, I bet I am too. I know I should play it cool, but something is telling me I need to get to know you better. I don’t want to play games or play hard to get. If you’re okay with that, I think we should go on a date and skip the bullshit. I’ll plan the whole thing. All you have to do is show up.”

  “Do you think it’s okay with us working together? And are you saying this because of Sean?”

  Technically, we don’t actually work together, but people enjoy idle gossip and I don’t want to be the source of entertainment for the department. If I’ve learned anything in my first week it’s that the hospital is a never-ending episode of The Young and the Restless. When you spend twelve-hour shifts together several times a week, it’s hard not to get caught up in each other’s lives.

  Ryan responds with a simple, “screw’em both.” Proof that the male mind is so complex.

  “That’s easy for you to say,” I tease while rolling my eyes.

  “How so? What’s holding you back? Help me understand pretty girl — unless you would rather pursue something with skeevy Sean?”

  Pretty girl! You think I’m pretty. You want to kiss me. You want to hug me. You want to smooch me, I sing in my best Gracie Hart voice. Realizing I am having my very own Miss Congeniality moment, I snap back to the present and decide to give a truthful response instead of a movie quote.

  “I guess I worry too much about what people think of me, of you and me. I’m new and you used to work with all of them. Just feels like a lot of pressure right now on top of adjusting to my job and I’m going to kill Sean for telling you that story. I have no interest in him though. Nothing more than friendship. Nice to know you two were talking about me though.”

  “I would hate for you to let anyone sway your decision. They’re going to talk no matter what we do. I don’t want to pressure you though. If you aren’t feeling us, I’ll have to live with it. I won’t like it but I get it.”

  Stop the presses, whoa.

  “Us? Do we have an us already?”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “You really do overthink everything don’t you?”

  “I’m not trying to be rude. This is all catching me off guard and I’m doing a shitty job of expressing myself. I don’t think most people start an us when they have only known each other for an hour.”

  My conscience is smacking me upside the head and telling me to stop sabotaging myself before I even get started. Maybe this is my problem. Over thinking everything to the point I convince myself it isn’t possible. For once, I want to live in the moment.

  The song ends and we are left in the middle of the dance floor staring at each other. Neither of us makes a move to say anything else. Why can’t I just say yes like any other normal girl would? One of the bartenders is on the small stage announcing a drink special and something about a band starting in fifteen minutes. I’m too busy looking into Ryan’s eyes to really care about either of those two things right now. Before I have a chance to get my words of acceptance out, Ryan decides to end the moment.

  “Think about it, about what I said. It’s just a date and I don’t care if we do it like everyone else or not. Well I care how we do it but that isn’t important right now.” The heat in his gaze makes me take a step back, not because I’m not feeling it, but because I am feeling
it. I’ve never had a reaction quite like this one before. I’m quickly figuring out Ryan isn’t like most guys and I think he’s just the adventure I need to help break out of my shell. Wait a minute….

  Don’t think for a second I didn’t pick up on the sexual innuendo he just tossed my way either. He may have been attempting humor but my body is one hundred percent onboard with his suggestion. Figures. I robotically respond, “Okay, I can do that. I’ll think about it.”

  I already know I’ll say yes, I just don’t want to toss all caution to the wind too soon. Maybe my tactic is all wrong but like I said, relationships aren’t something I do well. Hopefully, this is the right thing to say without pissing him off. Something tells me Ryan doesn’t get angry often though. While his conversations are intense, he always appears casual and carefree. I just don’t get why he was talking to Sean about me unless they have some kind of agreement or bet going on. I definitely need to find out more.

  Ryan winks, turns around and walks toward the back of the bar leaving me slightly dazed and confused. Alright, alright, alright I mentally say to myself in my best Matthew McConaughey voice. I really have to stop quoting movies in my head, it can’t be normal. Chuckling to myself, and slightly unsure of what just happened, I decide to go find Alex.

  “HALLIE YOU HAVE SOME explaining to do. Start talking,” Alex demands while chewing on a tiny straw.

  “That was seriously intense.”

  “What happened? You two looked really cozy. He’s hot by the way. You were right about his eyes. I felt the heat from over here.”

  “Were you watching me the whole time?” Suddenly I realize I’m feeling shy about our very private moment being a public display.

  “Well my best friend was talking to some guy I can only assume is her man candy. So, yes! I was watching every second of whatever that was.”